I think it's about time for me to finally try and organize my life, with a budget and all. I've never been able to successfully do it before, but this time I don't exactly have a choice. Vaughn and I are pretty much broke...no, we ARE broke. Which is going to make life extremely difficult once Olive joins us in about 4-6 weeks.
Things have been working out for us lately, well...sort of. Him and I pretty much live paycheck to paycheck, which doesn't exactly go under the category of "working out" for us. But we manage to pay our bills, stay out of debt (sort of), and have food in our tummies (thanks to my EBT card and WIC vouchers!).
This pregnancy has definitely not been the easiest thing for us. To be completely honest, it's been the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with in my life so far. Being broke and pregnant is not a good combination, at all. But all I can do is have faith that everything will work out in the end.
Vaughn has been rather terrified for when Olive does come into the world, money wise. He barely gets about 30 hours a week, which isn't much at all. Especially when he only makes 9 dollars an hour. He's worried we won't be able to stay afloat on just his income, but I'm trying to stay in high spirits. Yes, things are not the greatest right now, but we'll make them work...somehow, because we don't have a choice.
I pray, every single day, hoping that everything will fall into place once she's born. That something will happen and we won't have to worry about money issues. I wish God had waited til we were better prepared before he blessed us with Olive, but hey, God only gives you a cross the size he knows you can bear, right? So maybe this is just God's way of showing us that we are strong, and we can do anything, no matter how impossible it may seem at the time.
At least...I hope that's the case. I refuse to let my little family suffer. They're my life, and I'll do anything it takes to keep us afloat. And that's a promise.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
33 1/2 weeks
So I've decided that I'm going to start posting about my pregnancy each week, just for when I can't remember this stuff anymore. I didn't think I could ever forget any of it...but trust me, you do. Some people that are a few months behind me ask when I started feeling her kick, move, hiccup, etc, and I can never give them a definite answer! It's horrible, because it makes me feel like a bad mother. Which I know isn't the case, but me being my emotional self lately...well, you get the picture.
Anywho, here it goes! Here are little tidbits about this week
- My feet, hands, ankles and I'm pretty sure my face too, have all become SUPER swollen.
- Had to take my rings off last week
- I cried when I took my rings off...I haven't taken them off in over 5 years.
- I've been even more hormonal than I usually am lately
- Still craving fruit. Lots and lots of fruit.
- Drinking TONS of milk..I can't help myself!
- Getting a bunch of swift kicks in my ribs lately
- Olive usually gets hiccups anywhere from 3-5 times a day, especially in the morning.
- Heartburn like crazy! Tums have become my best friend.
- Can't fit into ANY of my pre-pregnancy clothes- makes me rather sad.
- Lots of movement throughout the day. My favorite part of being pregnant, hands down :-)
- Her favorite way to lay is diagonally, head down, butt jutting out. (Hopefully she gets into position soon!)
- BH contractions still. Not as much as when I was 30 weeks though, which is a plus!
That's all I have so far. Stay tuned for next weeks tidbits!
Anywho, here it goes! Here are little tidbits about this week
- My feet, hands, ankles and I'm pretty sure my face too, have all become SUPER swollen.
- Had to take my rings off last week
- I cried when I took my rings off...I haven't taken them off in over 5 years.
- I've been even more hormonal than I usually am lately
- Still craving fruit. Lots and lots of fruit.
- Drinking TONS of milk..I can't help myself!
- Getting a bunch of swift kicks in my ribs lately
- Olive usually gets hiccups anywhere from 3-5 times a day, especially in the morning.
- Heartburn like crazy! Tums have become my best friend.
- Can't fit into ANY of my pre-pregnancy clothes- makes me rather sad.
- Lots of movement throughout the day. My favorite part of being pregnant, hands down :-)
- Her favorite way to lay is diagonally, head down, butt jutting out. (Hopefully she gets into position soon!)
- BH contractions still. Not as much as when I was 30 weeks though, which is a plus!
That's all I have so far. Stay tuned for next weeks tidbits!
Books
I've been in dire need of a new book lately, but I haven't come across any that peek my interest. I found this nifty website though, on Pinterest, and it really helps with finding books that I will enjoy.
You just put in your favorite actor or book title, and then voila! You have a whole list of books that are like it, and it puts you right to Amazon in case you wanted to buy it. It's pretty neat and I've already been typing in pretty much every favorite book of mine I can possibly think of.
So here's my list of future reads, maybe some of you will find it useful as well!
- Detour by Lizzie Simon
- Smashed by Koren Zailckas
- Smack by Melvin Burgess
- Thumbsucker by Walter Kirn
- The Post Secret book by Frank Warren
- The Fuck Up by Arthur Nersesian
- Journals by Kurt Cobain
- Matched by ?
- Incarceron by Catherine Fisher
- MWF Seeking BFF by Rachel Bertsche
- The Other Woman by Victoria Zackheim
- Those Who Save Us by Jenna Blum
- Beautiful Boy by David Sheff
I'm not quite sure which one I'll start first, but I definitely plan on getting all the samples of them onto my Kindle.
I love being a bookworm- it allows me to live through the books I read, and become another person. I've come to realize that my passion is books. Weird? Oh well. I enjoy every bit of it!
You just put in your favorite actor or book title, and then voila! You have a whole list of books that are like it, and it puts you right to Amazon in case you wanted to buy it. It's pretty neat and I've already been typing in pretty much every favorite book of mine I can possibly think of.
So here's my list of future reads, maybe some of you will find it useful as well!
- Detour by Lizzie Simon
- Smashed by Koren Zailckas
- Smack by Melvin Burgess
- Thumbsucker by Walter Kirn
- The Post Secret book by Frank Warren
- The Fuck Up by Arthur Nersesian
- Journals by Kurt Cobain
- Matched by ?
- Incarceron by Catherine Fisher
- MWF Seeking BFF by Rachel Bertsche
- The Other Woman by Victoria Zackheim
- Those Who Save Us by Jenna Blum
- Beautiful Boy by David Sheff
I'm not quite sure which one I'll start first, but I definitely plan on getting all the samples of them onto my Kindle.
I love being a bookworm- it allows me to live through the books I read, and become another person. I've come to realize that my passion is books. Weird? Oh well. I enjoy every bit of it!
Monday, June 25, 2012
Projects
My life has been so dull lately, due to doctor's orders*, that I've pretty much stopped doing everything I love. Which was not a smart choice on my part, because now I'm rather depressed. To be honest.
So I'm going to make a list of everything I want/plan to do, and make sure I work on at least one thing per day. That way, I can preoccupy myself and stop dwelling on everything. That and I can also stop being so needy towards Vaughn, because I can tell that I have been driving him nuts.
He loves me, but no couple should spend every second together. And the funny thing is, I know that! That was always a huge part when I was looking for someone to date back in high school- I wanted someone that wasn't needy or expected to spend every second of every day together. Funny how things change once you become pregnant. He knows I can't exactly help it, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with. Even for myself.
Anywho, here's my list!:
1. Olive's baby blanket. I started crocheting her baby blanket back when I was about 12 weeks pregnant...I am now 33 weeks and it is still not finished. I stopped working on it after we moved because I was so busy with pretty much everything else, I didn't make time for it. But, I am going to make sure that I get it finished before she's born. Either that or pretty close to being done.
2. Baby scrapbook. I have been dying to make a scrapbook for Olive, but just haven't gotten around to doing so. I think a scrapbook is a great way to share all of the pictures, firsts and memories. Also, it'll be great for when she's older! I know that when I got to a certain age I was very curious about my younger self and loved looking at baby pictures. Heck, I still do!
3. Recipe book. Cooking has become one of my favorite things to do lately, I can't stop! From breakfast to dessert, I'll cook any chance I get. There have been a few recipes I've found (off of Pinterest, of course!) that I have tried and loved, and would love to start a book of all my favorite recipes. Also, to be able to write down my families secret recipes for the future.
4. Painting. I used to paint quite a bit when I lived back in Massachusetts, especially my Senior year. I'm not sure why I stopped, but I miss it.
5. Find a new book. Well, new books*. I used to be a huge bookworm and now I barely read at all. And it's not that I don't have time for it...trust me, I have LOADS of time...I just never pick up a book. So, I plan to start a list and read whenever I get the chance. Which is hopefully frequently!
I seem to have developed a brain fart, so I'm going to continue working on this list later. I know there are a million more things I'd love to start, but I just can't think of them off the top of my head right now. Darn pregnancy brain, haha.
* I've been getting too many false contractions to the point where my obgyn was concerned about early labor. So I was forced to cut down my hours at work to 2-3 days a week, 4 hours a day, and rest as much as possible on my days off. It's been rather difficult to do since I'm used to always being on the go!
So I'm going to make a list of everything I want/plan to do, and make sure I work on at least one thing per day. That way, I can preoccupy myself and stop dwelling on everything. That and I can also stop being so needy towards Vaughn, because I can tell that I have been driving him nuts.
He loves me, but no couple should spend every second together. And the funny thing is, I know that! That was always a huge part when I was looking for someone to date back in high school- I wanted someone that wasn't needy or expected to spend every second of every day together. Funny how things change once you become pregnant. He knows I can't exactly help it, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with. Even for myself.
Anywho, here's my list!:
1. Olive's baby blanket. I started crocheting her baby blanket back when I was about 12 weeks pregnant...I am now 33 weeks and it is still not finished. I stopped working on it after we moved because I was so busy with pretty much everything else, I didn't make time for it. But, I am going to make sure that I get it finished before she's born. Either that or pretty close to being done.
2. Baby scrapbook. I have been dying to make a scrapbook for Olive, but just haven't gotten around to doing so. I think a scrapbook is a great way to share all of the pictures, firsts and memories. Also, it'll be great for when she's older! I know that when I got to a certain age I was very curious about my younger self and loved looking at baby pictures. Heck, I still do!
3. Recipe book. Cooking has become one of my favorite things to do lately, I can't stop! From breakfast to dessert, I'll cook any chance I get. There have been a few recipes I've found (off of Pinterest, of course!) that I have tried and loved, and would love to start a book of all my favorite recipes. Also, to be able to write down my families secret recipes for the future.
4. Painting. I used to paint quite a bit when I lived back in Massachusetts, especially my Senior year. I'm not sure why I stopped, but I miss it.
5. Find a new book. Well, new books*. I used to be a huge bookworm and now I barely read at all. And it's not that I don't have time for it...trust me, I have LOADS of time...I just never pick up a book. So, I plan to start a list and read whenever I get the chance. Which is hopefully frequently!
I seem to have developed a brain fart, so I'm going to continue working on this list later. I know there are a million more things I'd love to start, but I just can't think of them off the top of my head right now. Darn pregnancy brain, haha.
* I've been getting too many false contractions to the point where my obgyn was concerned about early labor. So I was forced to cut down my hours at work to 2-3 days a week, 4 hours a day, and rest as much as possible on my days off. It's been rather difficult to do since I'm used to always being on the go!
Friday, June 22, 2012
7 more weeks
Seven more weeks until Olive is brought into this world. Is it wrong to say that I'm absolutely terrified?
I have a million questions racing through my head each time I think about it, "Will I be a good mother?" "Will it come naturally for me?" "Am I going to be able to cope with this extreme life change?" "Will my relationship with Vaughn change?" "Is she going to be a "good" baby?" (I put "good" because all babies are technically good, just some are a little more demanding than others) "What if I don't feel that instant bond with her?"
Now don't get me wrong, I am extremely blessed to be having Olive. I am very thankful that God gave me this opportunity, especially since I didn't think I could even have children (Thanks to doctor's assumptions). Olive is a miracle and I thank God every day that she is healthy and growing bigger each day.
I know my life is going to be full of joy and most likely an excess amount of love, but I can't help feeling a bit sad as well. No one is prepared for motherhood. There are no "How To's" or "Motherhood For Dummies", it doesn't work like that. Each child is different, each mother is different, each family is different. I've always wanted to be a mother, but I feel like it all happens so fast!
One minute- you find out you're pregnant, the next- the baby is born. It literally feels like these past 33 weeks have flown by in the blink of an eye...as if I wasn't paying attention enough to notice. But I was. I cherish every little kick, every hiccup (Which she gets many times, daily), every roll, every swift kick in the rib (Even though it's not too pleasant).
To any new mother out there, all I need to say is this: Love and record every moment, because the moments are all that matters.
I have a million questions racing through my head each time I think about it, "Will I be a good mother?" "Will it come naturally for me?" "Am I going to be able to cope with this extreme life change?" "Will my relationship with Vaughn change?" "Is she going to be a "good" baby?" (I put "good" because all babies are technically good, just some are a little more demanding than others) "What if I don't feel that instant bond with her?"
Now don't get me wrong, I am extremely blessed to be having Olive. I am very thankful that God gave me this opportunity, especially since I didn't think I could even have children (Thanks to doctor's assumptions). Olive is a miracle and I thank God every day that she is healthy and growing bigger each day.
I know my life is going to be full of joy and most likely an excess amount of love, but I can't help feeling a bit sad as well. No one is prepared for motherhood. There are no "How To's" or "Motherhood For Dummies", it doesn't work like that. Each child is different, each mother is different, each family is different. I've always wanted to be a mother, but I feel like it all happens so fast!
One minute- you find out you're pregnant, the next- the baby is born. It literally feels like these past 33 weeks have flown by in the blink of an eye...as if I wasn't paying attention enough to notice. But I was. I cherish every little kick, every hiccup (Which she gets many times, daily), every roll, every swift kick in the rib (Even though it's not too pleasant).
To any new mother out there, all I need to say is this: Love and record every moment, because the moments are all that matters.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
The swing of things
I need to get back into the swing of things! It's hard to start blogging, because I feel like I never know quite what to say.
I guess I'll start off with what I've been spending most of my time on lately.
- Eating
- This Monster Park app on my Droid (It's rather time consuming!)
- Spending quality time with Vaughn
- Working (barely working..)
- Online window shopping
Oh, as well as being harassed by my wonderful cat Pip- short for Pipsqueak. He most definitely lives up to his name, too. And I am officially 31 weeks pregnant, as of yesterday. Only a few short weeks left and I'll have a beautiful baby girl, Olive, in my arms. I'm very excited, as well as very nervous, for our little bundle of joy. I think I'm more excited to see how much Vaughn falls in love with her the second he sees her. The anticipation is killing me!
Anywho, here are a few pictures of my life. Enjoy!
 |
| Our lovely backyard in Oregon. |
 |
| My mom and I. Rather old but I still love it! |
 |
| My other half, Vaughn. |
 |
| Vaughn and Pip |
 |
| Olive, 20 weeks |
 |
| And my lovely self at 30w4d |
 |
| Myself, pre-pregnancy |
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)